![]() People can intentionally use negative stereotypes to manipulate others. Not only can this throw the victim off, but it can cause them to question the need to press a matter. When in discussion or confrontation with a gaslighter about their behavior, they may change the subject or distract the victim with a question rather than respond to the issue at hand. ![]() ![]() The gaslighter may then use this against the victim to back up their claims, such as saying, ‘Everyone thinks you are crazy.’ To the gaslighter, this is more evidence to use against their victim. The gaslighter may also spread rumors or lies about the victim, subtly telling others that they are emotionally unstable so that people may even side with the abuser without knowing the full story. This can be used to change the focus of conversations and may be used to question the other person’s credibility, such as saying, ‘This is just another crazy thought of yours.’ The aim of discrediting someone could be to make them appear emotionally unstable and thus more reliant on the gaslighter. These accusations can cause the victim to believe that they may have remembered things incorrectly or have memory problems. They may question another person’s memory, such as saying, ‘You have a bad memory’ or ‘You never remember things accurately.’ In countering, the gaslighter confronts the victim’s memories of events with an accusation or denial. This may also include pretending not to understand the other person’s perspective, which can frustrate the victim and cause them to feel misunderstood. They may say phrases such as ‘I don’t know what you are talking about’ or ‘You are trying to confuse me.’ Through withholding, the gaslighter may refuse to engage in a conversation or pretend not to understand what the other person is saying to get out of responding. If the victim is dealing with someone who does not acknowledge their thoughts, feelings, or beliefs, they may never feel validated or understood, which can be difficult to cope with. ![]() Victims may question whether their concerns and feelings are real or may feel silly for overreacting. If they say something hurtful, they may also say, ‘I was only joking,’ to reinforce that the other person is overreacting. They may often say, ‘You are overreacting’ or ‘You are too sensitive.’ This can involve someone belittling or trivializing the victim’s feelings. The gaslighter may say, ‘If you behaved differently, then I wouldn’t need to treat you this way.’ Minimizing Victims may believe they are the cause of the gaslighter’s bad behavior. They may twist around the confrontation from the victim to make the victim look like the bad person instead of themselves thus, the blame is deflected onto the victim. This can often occur when in conversations or confrontations with the gaslighter. This can leave the victim feeling confused, unseen, unheard, and second-guessing themselves. DenialĪ gaslighter may pretend to forget events or how they happened, such as saying, ‘That never happened.’ They may also accuse the victim of making things up so that the victim appears to be lying.Įven when the victim provides proof of the lies, the gaslighter will not back down and may be very convincing when denying it, even if the victim knows they are lying. The more they are used on someone, the more likely they are to question their reality. Many of these tactics may not be in isolation from each other some may be used in one instance or conversation. There are many tactics that gaslighters can use to manipulate their victims into questioning their own perceptions of reality, their thoughts, and their feelings.īelow are some examples of these tactics. The tactics of the gaslighter may be used to shake the confidence of their victim, lower their self-esteem, and make the victim dependent on the gaslighter. Thus, people who trust themselves more may be more immune to gaslighting.ĭespite this, gaslighters may persist in their coercion to eventually wear down their victims over time. Gaslighting is often a persistent form of manipulation that, over time, can cause the victims to lose their sense of perception, identity, and self-worth.Įmotional confusion appears to be the base of a gaslighter’s agenda, so this may work well on someone who already does not trust their own judgment. Gaslighters may have some overlap with those who have narcissistic personality traits in the sense that both can be egocentric, manipulative, and coercive.Īlthough narcissists tend to focus on self-absorbed, selfish techniques to use on others, gaslighters fixate on power or control to dominate others. However, gaslighting can also occur in other relationships, such as friendships, between family members, in the workplace, or politics. Gaslighting is mostly known to be carried out by one person onto another person, commonly in romantic relationships.
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